Dating Advice, tips for singles (Gay, Straight, Bi or Trans-Gendered) at the Bar Scene!
Do's and Don'ts for Men & Women
By Bureass'm aka Cris Rose
Do Establish Eye Contact
Men & Women generally don’t approach men or women so it limits their ability to control who they hold a conversation with on a Saturday night. Because of this, women will find themselves talking to and ignoring guys in which they have no interest. Men on the other hand will just go for it, they think of you as another notch on their belts. Typically men just want sex and a one night stand. They're not into commitments like women and don't typically get attached as easily. If you don’t have the courage to approach a guy or a gal, all you have to do is establish eye contact for 2 full seconds. Most guys or gals just need to get the green light to give them the courage to approach you.
However in a gay bar, gay men & women don't typically approach one another also. They typically have their friends go and get the 411 on the individual and then come back and tell you what they find out. Unless on the other hand they've had numerous drinks in them, and then then they become drunken little sluts and you never know what is going to come out of their mouths.
Do Get To Know Him or Her before Giving Out Your Number
Your number isn’t to be given out like Certs at a bad breath convention. Remember, a phone number given to the wrong guy or woman can result in you paying a price. If you always wondered what it felt like to be stalked, give your number to the wrong guy or gal and they’ll provide you with an experience of a life time.
If you have an interest, take some time to converse and get to know them a little. If you feel comfortable and you’re in a safe high traffic area, ditch your friends for a little while so you can focus on each other. But don't leave the club with them! Try and go home with your friends and make a second date. Going on a one night stand might get you in more trouble than you bargained for! If you let a person talk long enough, they will show you who they are. At that point, you will know if they're deserving of your number. If you're unsure here's another option.
If you're one that likes to text and get attention from a person while you’re out at the club go to voice.google.com and apply for a Google voice number. As long as you set it up in the settings NOT to go through Google and announce callers, they'll NEVER KNOW it's a Google number. Use this number when you go out. You can forward these calls directly to your phone but the voicemail will go to Google not your phone. This way you can change it at any time and it will keep you safe!
Everyone deserves an Opportunity
Alright peeps, this is an important one. We know that most men/women have put you through a lot and know that you have your guard up for valid reasons. But what’s important for you’ll to know, is that each man or woman you meet cannot be held accountable and judged for the decisions and actions of other men or women in your past. We are all individuals and will offer you our own unique experience. When you’re out at the bar, be cautious but let down the walls that prevent a man or woman from getting to know you and you from getting to know them.
Don't Be Harsh, Let them Down Nicely
This doesn’t happen all the time but some men and women feel the need to belittle a person that approaches them. Maybe it’s a natural reflex obtained from dealing with random jerks that have approached them over the years or it may be simply that the men and women are just major B’s. Regardless of the reason, men & women, yes ALL men & women, should take a laid back approach for what it is, a compliment. There was something special about you that encouraged him or her to work up the nerve to come say hello. If you’re not interested, simply say "I really appreciate you showing an interest but I’m just focusing on my friends tonight.
Don't Go Home with them On the First Night
Does this even need to be said? Ladies and Gents, are we still struggling with this one? Have we not learned from our own lessons or learned from the lessons of others? Unless your intentions are to simply get some sex or a quickie, never sleep with somebody on the first night. Stalkers or rapists or even persons who are bad news will present you with the opportunity of what you're looking for and then they will want you to sleep with them, but if they're truly interested in you, they really will want you to say no. I promise you, they will respect you so much more if you do say no.
Besides some jerks, men treat women the way a woman allows themselves to be treated or women who sound too good to be true and then after you get to know them they're nightmares. If you allow him or her to sleep with you on the first night, they will gladly oblige. If you say no, you’re not that type of lady or you’re a gentleman and you're not into that, they will switch gears and treat you with more respect. They’ll be more cautious with you and will soon ask you out on a date. If you never hear from them again, you know that they never really had a true interest in you and you saved yourself from a bad experience.
Don't Be A Hater!
You can almost see haters from a mile away. The next time you’re scanning the bar, look at all the happy faces of all the people enjoying themselves. Look at all the people laughing, high fiving, and hugging. Look at the men and women in deep conversation making love to each other with their seductive eyes. But once you see the one person that looks out of place, you have uncovered…the Hater!
You can usually identify the hater because they're usually standing close to a man and a woman in a deep conversation with their arms crossed. This person looks borderline upset but it’s more of a frustration look. You may see them occasionally tug at their friends arm as if to say, "Let’s go". They want to head to the bathroom, the other side of the bar, to the dance floor, off the dance floor, or anywhere that prevents somebody from talking to their friend.
Don’t be this person! Just because you’re not getting the attention that you’re craving doesn’t mean you have to ruin an opportunity for your friend. Be patient and allow your friend to decide if they wants to get to know the guy or gal they're talking too. Besides, if things work out, they may just have a friend for you.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org with any comments.