*Making Life Brighter*
BY Winifred Adams
Making Life Brighter
Light Vs Dark
By Winifred Adams
Copyright 2013, April
I was trying to explain the world of LA to my 80-year-old mother who recently came to visit me. You know, she hasn’t been outside of our hometown of 35,000 people that much, and into the new modern world of tech. Nor has she ever had the ‘privilege’ of experiencing the goings-on of the big city life.
People screwing people to get to the top—and I mean that in every sense of the word. People (particularly in LA) using each other or playing each other off in order to position themselves for what they believe is their best shot at the top.
The proverbial Power Game. Money=equals power and power=control which equals a newfound lack of insecurity. It’s everywhere, just not nearly as agreed upon as a social behavior as much as it is here. You see, it really is something that is a common mode of behavior. It’s the lay of the land.
You learn this early on when you move to LA. You come all shiny with your fawn spots still glowing and find yourself amongst the adult deer so graciously allowing you into their fold, for a price. And that price becomes either your contact list, or your next step, or well, some unmentionables.
If you’re smart, you hold your ground, or quickly find out how to make a move that catapults you to the top whereby you are no longer subject to the bottom feeders who’d like to have you think they have any power or heart.
Contrary to popular belief, there are actually great people in LA and some old greats still floating around the entertainment business. Shoot, Dick Van Dyke, who is currently ailing from the unknown, is a regular and open figure in the Malibu area. And of course, Jerry Weintraub who set the standard for how people get promoted in the world where you are unknown..simply by taking risks, thinking outside the box and keeping it honest.
But by and large, the majority of all folks who play the LA game aren’t so kind hearted. I would like to think it’s merely a matter of consciousness., or lack there of. It’s not personal; it’s just the facts.
I was explaining an incident along my road in music that found me in the new sound stage near the Howard Hughes building, testing a robotic camera using a green screen backdrop. I came to this via a “guy” (as he was called) whom I met during a recording studio tour in the building next door where Elvis had recorded. This “guy” wanted to use me to test the new robot camera. Only when I got onto the screen suddenly there were fake guns and other strange props. They wanted me to hold these props that could look better in a promo ad for some crazy porn movie, at which point I walked off set and never returned. Only to find my previous photo shoot shredded in a box on my doorstep wrapped in heart paper two days later!
A tit for a tat in the world of Oz. A place so far removed from my mother’s reality it was hard to even explain to her. Part of me didn’t want to taint her innocence as mine was when I realized the world of take, grab and position as I like to refer to it.
People often ask me why I stay. I tell them because I love the ocean and some of the places. I move around well here to get my work done and my musician friends are here. My healing clientele is great and I adore them. It’s not quite time to move on.
But there are those things to tread gingerly around. I likened LA to the recent terrorist bombings in Boston. It’s the land of greats and the land of cowards. Those that hide behind false pretenses and use deadly force to take people out—unwitting folks who just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. For every great, there are 1,000 cowards too pathetic to open their heart and instead close it down to a whirling mind filled with schemes of how to move from one social circle to another. Or, how to position themselves by creating a web around you so that you can’t move—you are always being observed.
These are people who have been deeply wounded somewhere along the way and decide that to drift into the mist of the big city and hide is an easy way to bluff. Like the bombers in broad daylight, then magically disappearing leaving carnage, broken hearts, and a world of hurt behind.
We can somehow look at our TV’s and comment on how horrible that is. We can feel the immense pain of those who lost or suffered and we sympathize. That kind of behavior is unacceptable because it’s in broad daylight and so radical.
But what of the behavior of people that are not jihad related but the ALL AMERICANS who plot and plan and harm people to get ahead every single day. We say ‘oh dear’ that’s a mean person, ‘avoid them…’
What of the men that routinely cheat on their wives here? Have them followed? Keep them for lack of a better word and bully them out of fear, into staying with them? What of the savvy fifty plus men who get dumped by their wives and then troll for coeds, sharing crippling diseases all along the way, robbing unwitting young ones of their innocence all the while wooing them with false promises, so cleverly acted out? Is that behavior really any different than the men in Boston?
It’s all still stemming from the same ego orientation of the need for being “OK.” It stems from a need to feel accepted and if you aren’t you’ll be known, feared, or at least untouchable in power.
You see, we like to think it’s over there and it’s because of “them” and their radical beliefs. I wonder if the Hopi elders would think our all American men who cheat and manipulate are any different? It’s all perspective.
You could argue many lives in Boston were taken. It’s true. They were and tragically so! But lives are ruined, drugged, and taken every single day across America, with the same ugly underpinning. The ego out of control.
I mean seriously! Tell me how an open hearted person—a TRULY open hearted person could even take time to think that up, or even want to do such a thing? Or how a truly open hearted person could want to snag a date to look better or manipulate a newbie just so they can feel powerful for a moment.
Cowards! There are more cowards among us unfortunately. And the big city has its fair share for certain. Yet, going deeper, we all have a coward somewhere in each of us. Hopefully not to that extreme but there is for sure an ego orientation that tells us we aren’t good enough or to take a little more than we actually need. We aren’t perfect.
The distinction comes in when people bloviate about their grandeur. And everyone around them realizes it’s the Emperor With No Clothes. How come the people in rural areas can see it so plainly and the big city folk get lost in the agreement of this behavior?
At what point do we individually and then collectively stop our behavior when we don’t feel good and say, “No thank you that doesn’t feel comfortable to me,” and walk away?
What does it take to change the collective agreement to create a new collective agreement to be openhearted? Whether it’s played out in great tragedy or behind closed doors daily, at what point can we say, “Hey I am not perfect, but I sure am going to do my best to be loving and kind no matter how bad my day was or how badly I got hurt at some point.”
When we no longer have the need to retaliate, we will have reached the open heart. We will have served our own internal litmus test of being ‘ok.’
Thankfully, my mother’s experiences in life have kept her more or less shielded from the harder things in life except that which she sees on the world stage. And thankfully there are still 80-year-old sweet mothers with a glint of raw innocence left in them when they smile. It gives me hope that our world is still pure at the heart of it all.
I will chew on that for a while more to come….
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