~DIARY OF A VAMPRESS~

by Sue Marie Isbell

Mother's Day. I said it and it hastens my heart. It has been just a little over a year since my mother went on her journey. Although I miss her greatly, I am content that she is no longer suffering from the years of pain associated with cancer. Because of these thoughts circling around my head like vultures the negative thoughts about her passing kept surfacing, I became distant.

It's not like the vampress to be quiet, solemn, or somewhat depressive. But it happens. Even to the best of us, we all fall prey to our own negative thought patterns at times. Depression sucks and I wanted out of it ASAP. So I sat there in silence trying to think up of a way to bring myself about. One single word pranced its pretty pointed horns at me. Cerrenous.

This single deity is known for his sexual prowess among other things. Anything sexual based always peeks my curiosity. I have been known to meddle quite heavily in the relationships and rituals of sexual magick. There is one book that comes to mind that has helped me a great deal to understand this subject even more.

Modern Sex Magick: Secrets of Erotic Spirituality by Michael Kraig.
You can preview and/or buy it here:
 http://www.amazon.com/Modern-Sex-Magick-Secrets-Spirituality/dp/1567183948/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368586397&sr=8-1&keywords=sex+magick  

I had a new sense of urgency to dip my wick into the semen of sexual intentions through ritual. I wanted something that would invigorate me and challenge me to achieve higher levels of consciousness. This was the perfect thing to get me going. Sex.

With no partner to practice with, it leaves me to work completely on my own. I figured I would start off slow and weave my way back to where I left off nearly 3 years ago. I was able to understand the energy and the essence of intention. I saw how powerful it can be by piggy backing it with high intensity pleasure through focus. I am going to explain how you can do this.

First thing you will want to do is make sure you have a time set aside where you will be undisturbed for at least an hour or two depending on what intentions you might want to use. I usually go for at least an hour but if I want a very strong push of intention, I can easily push for two. Uninterrupted time is essential for this to work because you will want the purest point of focus through concentration.

Second thing is to plan out your altar and/or settings. Do you want music or simple silence? Sometimes I find it much easier to concentrate if I have some form of background noise such a nature sounds or drumming. There have been times where I really wanted to focus as much as possible and found silence easier to do that with. Also, certain aromatherapy oils and scents can make it easier to focus on a certain person, place, or thing. Its really up to you and you are completely allowed to be extremely picky. Just be sure to set your mood through environment that best fits your intention.

Candles also play a very important role in planning the perfect setting. Some practitioners rely on different colors to mean different things. I, for example, lay out my plethora of colors and wave my hand over them so I am able to pick which ones feel right to me. You may want to anoint your candles with additional intentions through oil, ribbons, and jewels. It all depends on what you want to do. Just be mindful that some things can be very flammable. Watching your house burn down would definitely kill the mood and potentially your intention.

Third thing to consider is to make sure you will be comfortable for physical self manipulation for a long period of time. You might want to have a couple of clean towels, plenty of lubricant, and a comfortable blanket or pillow near by. Make sure there is plenty of space so you can change positions if necessary. In order to do this smoothly, think about which ones would be most comfortable keeping in mind what would be easiest to change without breaking your focus.

Fourth thing is to create your sacred space with love and no harm be done. I firmly believe pleasure is a form of intense love. In order to be with good intention through pleasure you want love as your main energy point. I am sure stroking your cock or vag while thinking of someone being whipped is amazing but that is not what we want right now. Besides that we can take care of that sexual impulse later. So love it is...

I usually begin with a few breathing exercises to help me bring my awareness to my state of being. Once I feel that I am centered and grounded enough, then I find a comfortable position and begin the process. I move rather slowly because I want to bring myself close to climax taking as much time as I can. There is nothing like planning a great ritual then climaxing within a few minutes to leave you disappointed. The slower the better, and the more intention.

You will soon see, feel, and enjoy the experience. When you feel the sexual energy begin to rise, set your intention. Piggy back the pleasurable sensation while focusing entirely on your intention. Breath, manipulate, focus. Rinse and repeat for as long as possible.

At times I feel myself go completely numb with pleasure as it pulsates through my body. I can feel the energy literally living inside of my veins. When I get to this point I push myself as far as I can go with that feeling and my focus is crystal clear. There comes a point where the body wants to climax at which time you can slow the manipulation down but through breathing you can relax and pick it up again. Do this for as long as you want depending on your intention.

When it comes to to relieve yourself or you think you have set your intention well enough, breathe through it. The closer you get to climax the more forceful your push for is for that energy. When you begin climaxing, reach for the desired outcome with complete focus. Make love to your thoughts, intentions, and feelings. Love the sensation and love the outcome. Carry it all the way until you feel the need to stop.

If your legs are shaky, your ass is numb, and your fingers smell sexy, you know the job is done. You can do this as often as you like, even an upwards of several times a day if you can hang.

The next thing to do is hold those thoughts in your mind though out the days and weeks to come. Followed by more rituals, you will see a difference soon. And hell... it's fun practicing. So go buy yourself some lube, candles, and incense and lay it all out! Literally!

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